just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize