So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
