You're completely useless in the revolution.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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