omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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