i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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