Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
