i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
