i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and she was petting her beer can
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
