Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
