I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
please come you make the beer taste better
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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