You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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