..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
