I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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