I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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