I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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