You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
