just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
