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• (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.

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• (415): View more from California

  Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!

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• (315): View more from New York

  Why did my mother make you get naked?

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• (562): View more from California

  You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.

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