Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
