dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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