There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
