I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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