To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
They have beer where we have blood.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
