why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
