Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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