Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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