Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
