I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
