remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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