Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
