she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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