Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
