The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
