drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
