I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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