where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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