would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize