I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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