Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
