oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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