She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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