Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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