Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
