She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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