I wish life had little blips of pornography
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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