and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
