so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
