I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize