Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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