dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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