New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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