if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
