He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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