Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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