meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
