I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
