Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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