Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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