i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize