This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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