Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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