Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
