The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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