You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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